Nagging

An old college buddy of mine once told me "I wish I can have a girl that don't nag and just leave me the hell alone," I told buddy, "Good luck! Because you'll never find that."

Nagging is an innate characteristic of all women just as being a dog is an innate trait of all men. Although all women Nag and all men are dogs, it is a certain degree of nagging that men should be concerned with and the what breed of dog that women should be concerned with.

There are 3 types of nagging that a woman can deviate from at any given moment to unleash a mind boggling combo on that ass. 

1. There is the "I don't want to bother you but..." or the Slippery nag. This form of nagging usually is subtle and typically deals with minute things such as the toilet seat being left up or the garbage not being taken out at the MOST RANDOM moments of the day. Many men are numb to this form of nagging but I call this the Slippery Nag because when you undergo this form of nag you may not recognize that your even being nagged because she's trying to deter your attention away from something she has done and doesn't want you to find out such as her pooting. This can also occur once she has detected your numbness then she'll deviate from the Slippery Nag and goes to number 2.

 

2. Then there's the "Your not showing me enough attention" or the Spoil Me Nag. This form of nagging occurs usually as a result of number one but can sometimes occur because your woman like all woman want 100% of your undivided attention 75% of the time. You may experience this when your playing video games, watching sports/deportes/ESPN/ESPN DEPORTES or pretty much anything involving sports or something she knows you love but doesn't know anything about. If you have a compromising woman she will make attempts to learn about these things you love so that she can have 100% of your undivided attention the other 25% of the time when you once experienced peace of mind without her. If you don't like your lady like that to spend every waking moment with her, it's safe to say don't teach her anything so she'll just be upset when your in this zone and she'll creme herself over a Lifetime movie about a woman whose man wasn't paying her enough attention and she thinks he's cheating, so as a result she kills him.

3. Finally the least favorite of them all, the "I'm feeling like a real bitch today and nobody gives a fuck so I'll worry you" or the Bitchy Nag. This type nag is unavoidable and it's like a tornado drill - head for a room with no glass or windows and take cover. This is usually the one that throw men for the biggest loops. Here he is jumping through hoops like the show poodle you always wanted him to be and whether it be PMS, somebody at work, school, or in your family that has said or did something to piss you off (usually your mother who you get this shit from) and guess what happens to show puppy? No more Scooby Snax for you pooch because lil mama's ready to rumble. This is also the form of nagging that usually drive men to the bottle, the ganja, to their boys' house, or to another woman's house because he has nothing to do with your foul mood, yet you want to burden him with your bullshit. As your man he does assume some responsibility to listen to you vent, but not when your venting, and in mid-vent, you shut the air off and turn the heat on him to nag about things he started, but hasn't finished (because he can't now that your interrupting to scold him) or things you told him to do that he just didn't do because he hasn't got a chance to yet. Sadly there's nothing that a man can really do in this situation except for eat it. Take it on the chin and hope she doesn't knock you out, literally. Feel her fury, listen to her lectures, and once she exhausts all her energy and exits, do yourself a favor and at least attempt to do some of those things she cried about. Then you can get back to doing whatever it is you were doing before the severe weather warning. This is the safe bet because if you have any kind of fuzz on your peaches and you told her how much of a bitch she was being (one of the few times you can get away with using the "B" word, that scarlet letter) without actually calling her a bitch. What you can say is that she's being bitchy or she's bitching and after the the storm settles and the dust clears, if she's a sensible woman she'll be apologetic to you and tell you why she was being a bitch. If she's a keeper she'll even admit to being a bitch during that moment and will be eager to reward you for being so "understanding."

I'm not a big fan of referring to women as bitches but where would a dog be without a bitch right? Chasing his horny little tail, that's where!

This post was in response to a special request by my good friend and and we all can learn something from this...but that's just What JLB Thinks.