Spring Fever

Birds are chirping, mowers are mowing, cars are being washed, kids are skipping school, and Rita's Water Ice is back open. This can only mean one thing (dun dun dun) Spring Is Here! The leaves are fuller, the weather is warmer and if there is one thing that Spring is indicative of, its rebirth.

Spring means a fresh start or an old ending however you want to look at it. Although it may not be officially the first day of Spring, but Spring has arrived. Baseball season has started, NBA Playoff spots are set, and relationships are being put to the test by nothing more than the Spring Fever.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Spring Fever let me put you on game. Spring is when the weather breaks, when people (particularly people with vaginas) come out of hibernation. So as a man you get a whiff of what you've been missing during those wintry months. As a man in a relationship, I don't give a rat's titty how faithful you THINK you are, you are definitely put to the test once spring hits. When Spring breaks, it means that Summer's "on its way and these hoes are doing sit-ups" (Kanye). Spring is literally the preseason to Summer and Summer is when it things get their hottest. And everybody knows what sites there are to see when Summer arrives.

Conversely, men aren't the only animals in the concrete jungle that become diagnosed with Spring Fever. Women are effected too! In the eyes of women, Christmas has passed, Valentine's Day is a faint memory and you start to realize "Damn! Ain't no more holidays coming up that require I get a gift, I may actually have to do some work in this relationship." Which sadly for those gold digging women means it's time to pack up and rack up (on men) for the Summer.

Spring Fever can most easily be detected in the increasing number of buns in the oven walking through your town...pregnant women. All those people who had nothing better to do when they were snowed in, had sex like professionals, and bring a new meaning to "procreation." Another indication that Spring Fever has struck is the increasing number of break-ups you see and hear about. The women are finally coming out to the clubs and to the parks to get their run on (to get ready for Summer) and men are noticing, hollering, "gettin' da digits" even. When the bitchy nags are at an all time high and those men who once cared no longer are concerned with her complaints because Draft Day is approaching and he's got a few prospects that he's scouted for the upcoming season. The same can be said about women, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and these scorned women who gave your sorry ass a second chance when you bought her an HDTV for Christmas so you could benefit from it the most, are considering the hounds who have noticed her recent emergence from hibernation and are howling each time she struts her stuff out on the town. 

Did I mention Spring means NBA playoffs? With that being said in conjunction with the increasing number of break-ups, women are being snatched off the rebound left and right because vulnerability is peaking. So fellas, keep an eye out because if there is one thing that I brand named, that I stand behind, that I guarantee, is this: No Woman Has Nobody and don't you ever believe otherwise. Especially women in the Spring! Every woman you have ever met in your adulthood and will continue to meet until your "out the game" has a man stashed away some place. What his significance to her is, may vary from woman to woman, but you believe this like you believe in whoever it is you pray to at night NO WOMAN HAS NOBODY. She may tell you this because she may have already took heed of his nearing contract expiration and may be shopping the market, ie YOU and don't want to scare you off by making you think you're going to be no. 2 or live in the next man's shadow. Ladies, the same can said about men so I'm not giving away all your secrets don't worry. 

I myself, love the Spring for all those reasons listed above and am about to get the wheels waxed and that's that! for What JLB Thinks