Chicken and Watermelon - the so called "Nigger Shit"

Happy 4th!! I know the 4th of July has passed already but I was too busy grilling and catching so-called summer blockbusters to deliver on time. 

Big Willie's new flick Hancock is just "okay." It's funny as hell throughout, Will Smith plays a hell of a homeless, super-hero, but sadly the storyline doesn't live up to the expectation. It's corny to be blunt.

In the spirit of the summer and the new NaS (Untitled) album that was originally slated to be released under the title Nigger, I'd like to dedicate this blog to watermelon and chicken or what has grown to become the so called "Nigger Shit."

I have an advanced copy of NaS' new album and it is the 2nd best album I've heard this year, next to Seeing Sounds but it is the best Hip-Hop album I've heard this year. I'm not going to give an in depth album review like I did with Tha Carter III because quite frankly only the "best rapper alive" deserves that kind of Dedication on my blog...right! 

What I will do is drop this sick metaphor which is a direct quote from NaS on the track entitled Fried Chicken featuring Busta Rhymes, because believe it or not, there are still busters who haven't heard this song. So here it goes:

"Fried Chicken, Fly Vixen. Gimme heart disease but I need u in my kitchen. U a bird, but ain’t a key. Got wings but u can’t fly away from me. Driving in ur bucket seats all the way from Kentucky to fuck wit me. Look what u done to me, who’s number one to me. After u shower, u and ur gold medal flour. Then u rub ya hot oil for bout a half an hour. U in ya hot tub, I’m lookin at you salivating. Dry u off I got ur paper towel waiting. Lay u down cuz ur red hot, Louisiana style u make my head rot. Then I fly to the bed then plop. When we done I need rest. Don’t know what part of u I love best. Your legs or your breast, Mrs. Fried Chicken u gon be a nigga death. Created by southern black women to serve master guests. You gon be a nigga death. Mrs. Fried Chicken you was my addiction, drippin wit High Cholest. Like Greeks wit its falafel, like Italians wit its tomato pasta, what roti is to a Rasta. Trapping me, you and your friend mac and cheese, candied yams, collard greens, but u knockin me to my knees. It’s killin me when I’m this high. Nothing I need more than a fish fry---"

I don't know about you, but I'm hungry, does Popeye's deliver?

Next piece of this "Nigger Shit" pie revolves around every black persons favorite fruit, watermelon...sure!

On July 4th 2008, the Chicago Sun Times published an article that read Watermelon contains and ingredient called citruline which is found in...VIAGRA, yes granddad Niagra! It proceeded to say that this ingredient relaxes the blood vessels like Viagra does and could have the same effect sans the side effects if you eat enough watermelon. Six cups to be exact. Here's the link to the full story:

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/health/1039905,CST-NWS-viagra04.article

So you know I had to try it. I've been at attention like a "private" at basic training ever since.

Seriously though, I don't even like watermelon to the point where I'd be able to keep down six cups. Contrary to popular belief, black people don't love watermelon that much. In fact Japanese people love it more. Yes! I said it! The Japanese! If you don't believe me then Google "Japanese sells watermelon for $6100." Then tell me that Japanese don't like watermelon more, maybe he got the tip about the Viagra-esqe effects, lol but that's What JLB Thinks.