"Last Time was the Last Time" Pt. 2

What's up kinfolk! In my absence from What JLB Thinks I've been doing some in depth thinking. For those of you who keep up with the blog and leave feedback religiously I really do appreciate the love. To show my appreciation for you all I'm going to utilize the next paragraph to blog about myself. Everything that follows will be standard protocol conversations, stories, music etc that will come together as one to form today's post.

Let's face it "I'm living two different lifes one in the day, you at night. Even though this ain't right I just can't get enough." (Songz) I'm living two different lives and I do everything I can to stay on the straight and narrow, but it's easier said than done. The more and more I try to tell myself I have to stay true to just one, the harder it is for me to stay away from the other. I mean I have time invested, years even. So I can't just quit one to give my all to the other. I'm only human. It's so easy to become complacent and it's even more easy to be tempted by the powers that be, to wake up in the middle of the night to put in work when I know that I could potentially face consequences the next morning. So I take chances such as this to lay it all out there for you all to read, to get a little more insight as to What JLB Thinks about his own personal experiences. Double dipping isn't usually my thing, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to continue with this life of mine and continue to stick with the years I've invested in my ever so stagnant full-time job, meanwhile flirting with my love of writing when I'm tempted...

If you thought I was talking about anything other than that, do you have a lot to learn?!?!

On a more serious note, anybody who listens to R&B has probably heard "Last Time" by Trey Songz where he sings about the love for his main lady and the lust for his side dish. Such a frequent story in music and entertainment. IT NEVER GETS OLD no matter how many people write about it. We the people, simply eat it up.

A few days ago when I was contemplating how to overcome this Comcast obstacle I got a call from one of my close friends who will remain nameless. For the sake of reference we'll call this friend of mine "X."

X calls me because X has a dilemma about Y.  X and Y have been dating for a year. Didn't sound like much of a dilemma at first, but X tells me about Z who works at the same location with X and they've been flirting back and forth for months. The flirting eventually manifested into "Backseat Love," which in lamens terms means sex for all you N.E.R.Ds out there. So X and Z been getting it popping quite frequently and X wants it to end. The problem is X can't put an end to it because Z's loving is just that good. Y has no idea because X has been doing everything X has done from day one to keep Y happy. So X asked What JLB Thinks about this situation, but Y? lol...ok so what if it was corny.

First of all I think I confused myself trying to protect the innocence of my friend. But all them damn X's and Y's brought back night terrors of Algebra and I have chills lol.

Like I said earlier in the post, this is a frequent scenario in entertainment, but regular people go through these kinds of things as well.

As far as what I think, if you or anybody you know has ever been faced with this situation, the first thing you/them must do is realize that cheating is never good and you should automatically assume that because you've betrayed them, either they or the next, will do the same to you, it's called Karma.

Once you've made acquaintance with Karma and acknowledge that what has occurred is wrong, you have to decide what you want to become of the situation. Determine whether you want one of the two or whether you want them both. Yes I said both, because contrary to popular belief, you can have your cake and eat it too! What good is cake that you can't eat? The downside to the cake is its merely a snack, a dessert, if you will. It's a bonus and it isn't sufficient enough to keep you nourished.

Once you've acknowledged what you what to become of all this mess, you have to address it straight on. As a man you're probably going to want to keep your main woman because she does all the little things that make her so much more valuable than any other. As a woman, who's reading this, you're thinking, "why cheat?" if she's so valuable. Well woman, I don't have an answer for that!

Why cheat? Let me say that by no means do I condone cheating but it's a part of the game. Belichick did it, Tim Donaghy did it, it happens. What I will say in the defense of men is that men cheat, not because their woman is not good enough, but for the simple fact that the sex can be a little predictable and men enjoy the thrill of something different from what you have. I like to look at it as a nutritious diet, being faithful that is. I look at it that way because to eat right you have to be disciplined, you have to understand the long term effects of eating right, and you must not be so easily susceptible to temptation. Cheating on the other hand is just like cheating your diet. You figure a little bit here and there is unhealthy, but it won't kill you. The most tempting foods to someone on a diet can be the most addictive such as sweets and caffeine. Cheating can become addictive.

That's if you're a man of course. It's not even close to being that complex for a woman. "Women stepping out for love, men do it to cum." (Big Pooh) If a genuinely good girl cheats it is because she's fed up and there's nothing you can do about it. She's scorned, but if she's a slut or a whore or a slore (slut+whore), then she probably pulled some wool over your eyes in the beginning and led you to believe she was genuine. That's it. Women are so complex yet not so much in terms of cheating.

Now that we got why one cheats out of the way it's time to look at what you've decided you want out of the whole situation and attack it head on. If you want the cake and to eat it too, just revert to the 80/20 rule and come to grasps with the fact that it's not going to end in your favor because what goes around comes around. If you want your relationship to end, simply tell the person you want to break it off and that you rather go your separate ways because you want to enjoy the benefits of a single life. It'll benefit you in the long run. If your anything like X, you're going to be in a bit of a pickle seeing as how X wants to come off the regimen and have that devil's food every once in a while because it's so delicious. The problem with that is eventually the side dish will approach you with the inevitable, "what are we?" or my favorite "where is this going?" formerly known as the libido killers because you'll probably be asked this prior to sex, UNLESS you're a side dish to your side dish, which is rare. If you're anything like X you must cut back on the side dish drastically because its inevitable that one of you will begin to develop feelings. If you have any brains in your head the one thing you should never do, regardless of how bumpy the road has become, leave the one you've invested so much time in, for the new and more convenient person because IT NEVER WORKS OUT...NEVER!!!

In closing, there's too much at risk when you cheat. Chances are your significant other is blowing your phone up while you're out doing your dirt. You can't answer the phone because your side dish doesn't know and you don't want them to overhear nor do you want to to play the question game with your significant other who hasn't had anything to say all day but suddenly wants to talk up a storm. No matter what excuse you use it won't be good enough, and when it rolls around that those previously used excuses have become realities, your significant other won't believe you thus making the road that much more bumpy. The best thing I can say to X is chalk it up, you've had your fun, now get back to the one. That's the one that's been there, and that's the one that will be there. So don't risk throwing it all away for lust. Tell Z that it was fun while it lasted but it was strictly a physical thing.

That's What JLB Thinks