Long Time No See...The Ex-pierence

I don't know about you, but more often than not I bump into women I've dated or wanted to date in the past.

Whether it be at Bible study, presidential debates, or at the historical landmarks in our nation's capital I always seem to cross paths with these women at the most unlikely of places.

Okay maybe not Bible study or any of those aforementioned places but certainly at the club/bar, mall, and the occasional "Kenny Shoes or Safeway or some shit."

For me I get a kick out of these experiences. Primarily because in all of my wonder years I, was the young black Kevin Arnold. With that said I was a genuinely nice guy. Sure I've made some mistakes, did one or two women wrong, but let's face it...We males have the tendency to follow that gravitational pull south of the equator. It happens, I'm man enough to admit this. What I will say is, as a man once you grow wiser you have more control over what direction you want to "point" yourself in, to minimize the damage control.

But I've digressed from my point.

I get a kick out of those experiences. The biggest kicks come from women who wouldn't give me the time of day as a youngster and all of a sudden they cross my path and notice that my hair is longer than their hair ever will be and almost instantaneously they develop this uncontrollable attraction for reasons they've never experienced before. 

This can happen to both men and women for different reasons and whether you are a man or a woman. If you are the one who didn't get the time of day and now this person has all the time in the world for you, to be frank, you're in total control of the situation. If it ever reaches this point then you can be certain of a full swing in momentum and now the ball's in your court. Literally. 

Conversely if you are on the other side of the momentum swing you can count on the fact that unless you were committed to someone during all that time when the man or woman was attempting to court you, you will only be viewed as another potential hook on the bra, or notch on the belt. Piece of ass...for those of you who don't follow so easily. It may sound bad but that's the reality of it.  Chances are you aren't as appealing now to the person you suddenly became interested in, as you were when they were dying to get a shot at you, which in turn now makes you look weak and desperate. More than likely you'll be taken advantage of. So take this as a lesson and don't put too much emotion into it.

Now as far as the EX-perience...The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.

It takes experiences to grow wise. The fewer experiences you have, the less you know. What I know from personal experience is that when you haven't had a substantial amount of relationships you have no way to gauge how good you have it until you let it alone and move on to something that was worse than what you had. Some people refer to it as the 80/20 theory. Tyler Perry fans got a chance to see that in "Why Did I Get Married," but by no means did Perry develop this concept. If you're not familiar with this concept it can be seen in a relationship where one person has 80% of what they truly need to have a successful relationship but they are attracted to the 20% they WANT in another person but don't necessarily NEED. For a man this is usually some form of sexual attraction found in another woman. For a woman it is usually a man who seems generally interested in everything she does and says (but he's trying to net you, so of course he is...it's called earning brownie points, it always slows down to some degree). So in turn they jeopardize the 80% by either cheating or flat out ending the relationship to pursue the 20% and for the most part the 20% is everything you expected it to be, but when you look towards the 20% for those amazing qualities that the 80% possessed, they don't exist. Thus you jumped ship for a bamboo raft! You dig?

So ladies and gents if you encounter an ex of yours and he/she's suddenly trying to be down like Brandy, you can bet your bottom dollar the 20% he/she came across after you, did not live up to the initial hype. Which in turn swings the momentum in your favor as well. Which also means you have total control of the situation and if the person has any upside to them, it may be worth it to consider letting them back into your life to play the role that you want them to play...but that's just What JLB Thinks